Cure for insanity
by Gakaigal
Summary: She was sick of hearing it, 'weak, 'useless, 'burden'. So she left in search of power, just like everyone else. But instead of just power she winds up with the sweet, whiney, strong, perverted, love struck Akatsuki. Sakura Haruno, welcome to hell.
1. Decisions un!

**Yo! So I have decided to start another story un! 'It's all in good fun' has a lot of humor in it, and I thought I'd turn over a new leaf in this story and add more drama and romance yeah. Of course there's still humor, cause that's my thing, but this is a completely different story line, yays un! I hope this one goes over well un! **

**Plum-- New story yeah!**

**Shika-- What made you want start a new story?**

**Plum-- Well I got this idea, so I just decided to write it un.**

**Gaara-- Am I in this one since I'm not in the other one?**

**Plum-- Well you see, there was this huge mental wave thingy that caused me to accidentally forget to put you in here un.**

**Gaara-- Your mean.**

**Plum-- Cookie un?**

**Gaara-- I take it back, I love you!**

**Plum-- Are you lying un?**

**Gaara-- Well it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume…that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost particularly incorrect. **

**Plum-- So your lying un?**

**Gaara-- On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not actually rejecting your statement that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty I do not know if I'm lying. If I it is indeed that I'm not lying but I really am. Even if I wasn't lying but I were yet I am not which I may not yet I could, it could mean…the answer is cookies?**

**Plum-- My head hurts un.**

**Shika-- I understood that perfectly…I think, anyways Plum doesn't own Naruto.**

**Enjoy, yeah!**

* * *

She stood a little ways away from the Konoha gates in a nearby park, pondering on whether to go through with this or not.

It was close to eleven at night, the night sky was cloudy and thunder could be heard in the distance.

'**What are you waiting for? We don't have much time once we leave before they notice we left!' **Sakura's inner hollered and screamed at her to move her feet, but she just couldn't.

'Your right, what AM I doing? I can't just leave, I'll be recorded as a missing nin and be considered an enemy if I do. I'd be throwing away my life here.' Sakura mentally scolded herself and sat on a bench huffing to herself.

'**Yes, but throwing away this life to start a new one. Are you really happy here? You know your not, cause I know your not, and I'm you.' **Her inner put on her reasonable sounding side. Really making Sakura think second thoughts once again.

'No, I'm not happy, but am I really willing to leave everything I know? My home, family, friends.' She knew she wasn't happy, but she tried convincing herself, because she knew if she left she'd be making a big mistake. Or so she felt she would be.

'**Friends? Teammates? Think back, is that really what you'd call them. Sure, Ino, Tenten, Hinata, and the others are great when they need to be, but remember your true reason for wanting to leave. Think back, to everything driving you to make your leave.' **Sakura's inner growled, thinking to herself her reason for wanting to leave as well.

'_Sakura, actually move for once! Your nothing but a burden.' _

'_Your not coming on this one Sakura, you'd be useless to this mission.'_

'_Weak, that's all you are. I don't even know why you still try to become stronger, your not progressing. You'll always be weak. Constantly having us protect you, and that's all your good for. Sakura Haruno, damsel in distress.'_ Sasuke's cold words rang through her head, setting her to choose the one option she knew she'd regret.

Her teeth and fists clenched, sending waves of pain and anger coursing through her body.

"Okay, that's it then. I'm leaving and I'm going to become stronger, no matter what it takes." With that Sakura strode towards the gates, ready to take her leave.

* * *

"Tsunade!" A young woman in her twenty's ran through the hallways to the hokage's room.

"What is it?" The fifth hokage sat behind her desk lazily searching from paper to paper through the scattered piles on her desk.

The woman stood there panting and looking at her heavily, "I think you should read this, It's from Sakura." She walked over and tossed the neatly folded sheet of paper beneath her nose on the desk.

Tsunade gave a strange and confused look, but picked up the paper anyways. She gently opened it with caution, having the feeling it would shatter under her immense strength. For some odd reason, this didn't feel like an ordinary note, which worried her.

She opened it completely and her face contorted into a surprised gasp.

The note read only but three words.

'_Sorry, and goodbye.'_

"What's the meaning of this? I want all of teams out and searching in each direction from Konoha. Send out anbu, jonin, chunin, whatever it takes! No harm shall be done to her, but don't you dare let her get away, you hear?!?" Tsunade slammed a fist on the desk and clenched her teeth. 'Just what are you thinking Sakura?' She thought to herself as the young woman ran out of the room and spread word to start the immense search for Sakura.

* * *

Murmurs were being heard along the streets from children to the aged.

All able bodied ninja's were to report to the Konoha gate. Meaning everyone from chunin, jonin, and anbu; just like Tsunade had said. Only the ones who were busy on a mission already and the injured were not there.

"What's going on, are we in for an attack?" Random yells and questions were heard from the large group of ninja's.

"Are we in danger?"

"Why are we all here?"

"I even skipped breakfast, this must be my punishment for not eating properly."

"I think it's a little more important than that you baka."

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

"QUIET!" A loud roar was heard from above the gates.

They all looked up to see their fifth hokage standing atop the entrance to Konoha with a deadly glare gracing her face.

"Hey, Grandma Tsunade!! What's this all about?!?" Naruto's obnoxious yet mature voice could be heard throughout the crowd.

"Shut up and listen and I'll tell you Naruto." Tsunade said it calmly, unlike her normal self.

"We have a missing nin and it's important we get them back, at all costs." She answered, closing her eyes as she thought about who it was.

"What?? All of this for one person?" Many complaints were heard and this angered her beyond repair.

"WHAT?? ARE YOU ALL TO BUSY WITH YOUR OWN LIVES TO PERHAPS SAVE A FEW? I KNOW THIS PERSON IS SEARCHING FOR POWER, AND THERE'S NO TELLING WHERE THEY'LL GO FOR IT!" She felt a hand placed on her shoulder and she realized she snapped. She looked around and noticed all of the ninja's before her now held a look of seriousness. She knew she go through to them, so she cleared her throat and began again.

"Listen, I'm sorry but this is more important than you all think. I have a hunch that this person won't just be seeking any kind of power, but the strength from the…" She paused, not really wanting to alarm anyone, but she knew she had to. "The Akatsuki."

Gasps and murmurs were heard and she inwardly smacked herself. "Don't worry, that's only a hunch. This is of high importance, so take this seriously."

"Hey! Grandma! Who exactly are we after anyways?" Naruto was the only one who asked the question everyone had been itching to know.

Tsunade sighed and closed her eyes once again, "Naruto…we're searching for…Sakura Haruno."

Those words burned Naruto's ears. "SAKUR?!?" He growled out her name and looked at Tsunade in disbelief.

"Yes Naruto." She knew he wouldn't take well, none of her friends that were there did.

Cries were heard from Ino and Hinata who were standing together with Tenten.

"This better not be some kind of sick joke!!" He barred his teeth and stood up straight looking her in the eye.

"I wouldn't joke out something so hurtful." She replied, glaring down at him as well.

Naruto made his way up next to Tsunade atop the gate high above the rest of the crying or shocked ninja's below.

He turned and faced the land outside of the city staring out across the woods and further.

He opened his mouth and his screams echoed for miles, or so It seemed they would to them there, "SAKURA! WE'LL GET YOU BACK, SO DON'T YOU TRY AND RUN! WE'LL GET YOU BACK!!" He was growling and baring teeth as though he were a wild animal, true to the fox inside of him.

Tsunade turned back to the others, "Now go and bring her back, unharmed!" With that they all took off, leaping in different directions.

* * *

'I've been gone for about thirteen hours now. I'm sure they've figured out I'm gone, I should really find where I need to be now.' Sakura thought to herself leaning against a tree for rest.

"Well well, what do we have here?" Sakura looked up to see two tall figures looming over her.

'God, maybe I am as weak as they say, I didn't even sense them coming.' Sakura mentally smacked her self and made to get up. She still felt so small and helpless with them standing there like that, even when she was standing her self also.

"What are you doing way out here girl?" The tall dark…blue man asked her grinning from ear to ear, looking as though he were about to eat her.

"What's it to you?" Sakura spat giving him a mighty glare. 'Just cause I'm weak doesn't mean I can't have attitude.' Sakura grinned at her boldness.

"Oh, we've got a snapper Itachi, real her in!" Kisame smirked over to Itachi who merely ignored him and continued to watch my every move.

"What are you doing out here? Are you asking for death?" He asked, keeping his face blank.

"Not particularly. Actually I wanted to speak with you. Good thing you found me first, thanks for making things easy for me." Sakura answered with out hesitation.

"Hah! YOU wanted to talk with ITACHI? You really do have a death wish don't you?" Kisame roared with laughter like an old man.

"Talk to me? What about?" Itachi intensified his gaze with a hint of a glare, although it was hard to tell, his face barley budged.

"I want to join the Akatsuki." She blurted out quickly.

That certainly dragged Kisame's attention away from his rough laughter. "What?!?" He snapped and glared at her as well.

Sakura fidgeted beneath their glares only a little, but answered clearly, "I wish to become stronger and the Akatsuki was the first thing I thought of. I know that sounds strange, but I'm taking this as a joke. I'm going to become part of the Akatsuki whether you agree or not. I promise you that." She boldly stated causing Kisame's mouth to drop a little.

"You think a kid like you could join?" Kisame would've broke out in laughter again, if it wasn't for her seriousness.

"I'm not a kid, I'm 18." Sakura snapped back and stuck out her tongue.

"You sure act like one." Kisame rolled his eyes and turned his head to the side.

"Fine, follow us, and keep up." Itachi hadn't spoke for a while, he just watched her actions to Kisame's taunting.

"Really??" Sakura smiled and looked towards Itachi who was already walking away.

"What?!? Your joking! She's got PINK HAIR!!" Kisame couldn't shouted at Itachi's back.

"Well excuse me, but you've got BLUE SKIN!!" Sakura retorted back and then ran up to Itachi who was picking up his pace.

"What? You little brat!" Kisame growled under his breathe.

"Kisame, I said keep up." Itachi commanded, not even looking back.

Sakura turned back and looked at him shaking her head in disappointment and 't-ched' him, "Can't even follow commands." She grinned and turned back around.

Kisame's face went in shock, "I'm gonna kill her!" Then he relaxed a little, thinking on the bright side, "But she's got guts, I'll give her that." He smirked to himself and ran to catch up to Itachi and Sakura.

* * *

"Tsunade?" A man with long silver hair and only one eye showing stepped into the hokage's room.

"What is it Kakashi?" Tsunade asked sounding tired and aged. Her head was placed in her palms and her elbows were resting on her desk.

"We--we're stopping the search for Sakura." He answered waiting for Tsunade's angry outburst.

"I see, so you couldn't find any traces of her at all?" Tsunade asked not even bothering to pick up her head.

"No, none at all." Kakashi let his lone eye drift downwards as an indication that he was disappointed and upset about this as well.

"I guess there's nothing we can do about it then. She chose to leave, so she must have a reason. Not only did we just lose Sakura, but we lost our best medic, a daughter, a friend, a student, a loved one." Tsunade started to choke up and Kakashi could tell, she became hoarse and her words would get caught in her throat every now and then.

"I know Tsunade, I know." Kakashi's face read hurt and sadness, he felt the same pain she did. Sakura was his student after all.

"Tell everyone to stop the search then, no questions asked." Tsunade finally looked up and waved Kakashi to leave.

He nodded and took his leave in a puff of smoke.

'Sakura, I don't think you realize how much your missed. Then again, right now I don't think you care.' Tsunade has strength, but no amount of strength could hold back her tears. That night Tsunade cried just about as much as she did when she lost her brother, because to her right now, it felt like she lost a daughter.

* * *

**Well what do you think yeah?? That chapter is certainly dramatic and serious…I'll have to make the next chappies funnier un!! Okay, so how about you tell me what you think in a, dun dun duuun, review un!**

**Plum-- My head still hurts un. **

**Sasuke-- I better not be gay in this story.**

**Plum-- Who said I'm even putting you in this story un?**

**Sasuke-- You better tell me!**

**Plum-- Well technically I won't lie but then again if you take the probability that I will lie it will add up to that I could lie, meaning I may or may not lie which wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost particularly incorrect causing me to say the truth and the answer is cookies un!**

**Sasuke-- What??**

**Plum-- Teehee, that's a little trick I learned from Gaara un!**

**Sasuke-- Whatever, review please!**

**Yes, please review un!**


	2. Introduction: Circus freaks un!

**Yo! Ah I'm sorry this chapter is so late but I was in a complete writers block session un! Let me tell you, those are not pretty, I get bags under my eyes and my hair gets all frizzy and sticks out like Shikamaru's un! I'm sure you could mistake me for rode kill yeah. Okay okay, I'm over exaggerating…it's not that bad, but it does suck big time un. I hadn't updated my other story in forever and that needed attending too first so I had to take care of that and now that I have an idea for this chapter we're all good yeah?**

**Plum-- Oh joy, this chapter's gonna suck un.**

**Shika-- and why do you say that?**

**Plum-- Cause I'm listening to I will Remember you by Sarah McLachlan and it's making me sad T.T un. **

**Shika-- Well here's a good idea…turn it off**

**Plum-- Fine, I'll change it un.**

**(Storms off to change song…)**

**Plum-- Otay, all done yeah!**

**Shika-- Better?**

**Plum-- Weeelll…depends on what you mean by better…un…**

**Shika-- Okay Plum, what did you change it too now?**

**Plum-- Crazy Train by Ozzy and that makes feel like going out and doing something daring and evil un! O.o**

**Shika-- That's not an evil song…**

**Plum-- The beginning is un…**

**Shika-- Fine, believe what you will…**

**Plum-- I will…I WILL DAMNIT I WILL YEAH!**

**Temari-- SHIKAAAAA!! TIME FOR A MAKE-OVERRR!! **

**Shika-- OMG! I'D RATHER YOU POP MY CLOUDS, MY CLOUDS TEMARI, MY CLOUDS!! (A/N: That's a quote from my other story un .)**

**Temari-- BUT SHIKKAAAA!! I WANT TO MAKE YOU PRETTY!!**

**Plum-- MUAHAHAHAHAAA I DON'T OWN NARUTOOO UUUNN!!**

**Enjoy, yeah! **

* * *

Itachi, Sakura, and Kisame were walking in complete silence on the way to the Akatsuki's Base with Itachi leading and Kisame in the back keeping Sakura in between them. 

'_Awkward silence." _Sakura thought to her self keeping up her pace.

**'Then say something.'** Sakura's inner commented back lazily.

'_No really? Gee you're a genius.'_ Sakura rolled her eyes in annoyance as sarcasm oozed out her words, _'I just don't know what to say.'_ Sakura sighed and continued watching the pathway they were walking.

**'****How about for starters, Kisame what the hell are you doing?!?'** Inner Sakura replied testily and sounded quite unhappy.

'_What?'_ Sakura questioned tilting her head to look back slightly only to catch Kisame's gaze a little to low for her liking.

Sakura whipped her head back around, _'He's gawking at it like he's never seen one before!' _

She switched her facial expression from anger to seduction within seconds and replied sweetly, "You know, a picture would last longer."

Kisame snapped his head up only to come face to face with an angry glare.** (A/N: (sweat drop) mood swings un)**

Sakura pulled her arm back and filled her fist with chakra only to push forward with full force and let it hit Kisame right in the kisser.

Sakura smirked as she placed a hand over her eyes to block out the sun as she watched Kisame take a priceless fly to Never Never Land. Or in Kisame's case Never Never stare at Sakura's ass again Land.

Kisame landed in a moaning heap on the ground looking as though he'd just gotten done with a training session with Lee and Gai.

"Stupid pink haired poodle." He mumbled standing up and straightening himself.

Sakura's lips twitched a little and formed a small smile, "Is that honestly the best you can come up with? 'Stupid pink haired poodle'…oh that's a good one. It's definitely going in my 'Kisame's guide to idiocy' novel." She laughed out loud and turned away from the now fuming red and blue fish.

Itachi had ignored the whole fiascal and just kept at his normal pace leaving them a little ways behind.

Sakura ran away from Kisame and caught up to Itachi walking right next to him.

Now feeling in a pretty good mood from being able to laugh at Kisame she felt like starting up a conversation with Itachi and breaking this solid brick wall of no emotion.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes and felt a blush rising to her cheeks. He certainly had the looks for being and S-class criminal. Then again, who was she kidding, she'd seen a lot of sexy deranged and psychotic guys who were aiming to take over the world in her life time.

She didn't mind anymore considering she'd most likely be put on the same level as them now that she left her village and is hoping on joining the Akatsuki.

She suddenly realized she'd been staring at him the whole time and he was glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes as well. "O-oh uh I was wondering…what are the other's in the Akatsuki like?" She asked looking straight ahead of her again.

He didn't say anything and just looked forward.

Kisame was the one who answered instead, "Well there's Deidara the she-male, Sasori the tree trunk, Hidan the religious sadistic cusser, Kakuzu the money obsessed stitch freak, Tobi the sugar addicted 5 year old man, Zetsu the human plant chess board, Konan the walking piece of paper, and last but not least Pein, the piercing crazed leader." Kisame was now walking on the other side of Sakura taking his bow.

"Oh, let me guess, your Itachi the emotionless wall and your Kisame the fish man…you guys sound like a bunch of circus freaks." Sakura snickered and earned a glare from Kisame.

"Well hey, your willingly joining this circus so you'll eventually earn your name miss tundra." Kisame snorted back and crossed his arms.

"Well--"

Sakura was interrupted by Itachi's irritated voice, "Enough. Put this over your eyes." He pointed to her Konoha headband she still had on her head.

She looked confused and questioned him, "What for?"

"Precautions are needed until you're a final member of the Akatsuki. We don't need you deciding to go running back to Konoha with our base location." Kisame jumped in sliding the headband over her eyes.

"Hey! I can do it you know." Sakura growled and adjusted the headband securely.

"Okay now keep quiet until we say." Itachi demanded and that was the last thing said for a long while.

The trip wasn't much longer though considering they picked up their pace and they were already close when they forced the blindfold on her.

Sakura heard a sliding noise and then their footsteps changed from the soft muffles on the grass to echoing taps.

"Okay, you can take off the head band." Itachi replied still having them walk.

She took it off and tied it back on her head getting a good view of the scenery change.

They were now walking down a long walkway that seemed to be dug into the side of a cliff. The walls and ground consisted of rough rock and nothing more.

'_Oh dear god, don't tell me they live in a smelly, cold, and wet cave.'_Sakura groaned mentally.

She was scolding herself for ever thinking this was a good idea when they came to the end of the long cave up to two large oak wooden doors._'Well, those look fancy.'_ Sakura chuckled. _'They have nice doors and shitty hallways.'_

Kisame walked up and pushed the heavy looking doors open with no sweat and turned around grinning at Sakura. She just rolled her eyes, _'Show off.'_

She then went to follow Itachi through the doors, and only then did she really take notice to the room behind the fancy wooden doors, "Holy shit!"

Sakura gaped at the beautifully decorated black and purple walls, leather black couches and chairs, nicely carved oak coffee table, decent size T.V, and the silver haired man sitting in front of it.

"Quite a damn mouth for a lady." The man in front of the T.V spoke looking in her direction.

"Well look at this room it's amazing!" Sakura exclaimed taking in every detail of everything in the room. Including that stunning man in front of the T.V.

"Sakura, this is only the living room. The rest of the place is just as nice. Kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, medical room, and such." Kisame replied walking by Hidan.

"So who's this little bitch?" Hidan asked looking Sakura up and down.

"Hey, watch it. She's got a punch like popeye the sailor man." Kisame frowned and Sakura chuckled remembering her pleasant time turning him into a bruised mess.

"I could have easily broke your bones, but I held back." She grinned and watched Hidan raise his eyebrows at her.

"Is that bitch here voluntarily?" Hidan directed his question to Itachi who was standing there silently.

"Yes, I'm taking her to see leader now. So let's go Sakura." Itachi stated and started walking off.

Sakura nodded and followed.

"Hm, this should be interesting. Eight horny criminals and one hot ass like hers. Wonder how things will turn out." Hidan grinned to himself and Kisame started chuckling completely agreeing.

* * *

"Come in." Was heard on the other side of the door Itachi and Sakura were standing in front of. 

Itachi pushed open the door and there sat at his desk was the leader of the Akatsuki himself. They both walked in, Sakura following slightly behind Itachi.

Something about this man behind a completely looking normal desk gave her the heeber jeebers.

"What's this?" The leader questioned looking up a bit curious.

"This is Sakura Haruno a missing nin from KonohaGakure. She claims she wants to become a member of the Akatsuki." Itachi exclaimed still as emotionless as ever.

"Well well, this certainly is convenient." The leader chuckled and waved Sakura to step up closer and she did just that.

"So Sakura, what exactly can you do?" He asked placing his elbows on the desk and putting both hands together in front of his mouth intently staring her down with a smirk.

'_Okay, deep breathe. Keep it cool Sakura.'_ She thought mentally taking a deep breathe and answered.

"I'm a specialized medic nin and trained under the Hokage and one of the three Sannin, Tsunade-sama. My genjutsu is top notch and I have perfect chakra control, immense strength, an extremely high IQ, and know just about every jutsu there is." Sakura finished feeling very proud of herself. She never really took the time to realize how strong and intelligent she really was.

The leaders smirk turned into a pure grin. "Well then Sakura Haruno, let us test you and I'll make my decision. First, I'd like to see your skills myself, so I'm going to have you practice battle against one of the members. Come." He got up and walked out the door with Itachi and Sakura following.

"Itachi, gather the others and have them meet in the training room. Sakura, you come with me." The leader said bringing her down the same hallway only down a lot farther and turning every now and then while Itachi went the other direction towards the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms.

* * *

Sakura stood silently in the enormously large room with metal plated walls and solid rock floor, perfect for practicing and easy to fix once destroyed. 

The leader was sitting in a chair high up on a balcony on the far end of the training room far from where Sakura was standing waiting for the others to show up.

Just then the metal door opened and nine figures walked into the room wearing the Akatsuki robes she wished she had as well. _'Once I have one of those, people will KNOW I'm strong.'_ Sakura chuckled to her self, just imagining the respect she'd get.

Everyone retreated to their own chair on their own balcony leaving Sakura the only one on the ground looking up at them all.

"Now, all of you, this is Sakura Haruno and she wants to join." The leader informed still giving her that same look of interest he's been giving her the whole time now.

There were different responses, some were chuckles, other's were scoffs, and one in particular was a full out blown laugh.

She turned her head and directed it to the laughing blonde giving him a glare and hissed out, "You find something funny she-male?" She assumed that's the one Kisame was talking about, considering he did look like a woman with his long blonde hair.

That shut him up and he snarled at her, "I didn't know poodles were allowed to join an S-class criminal association pinky."

"I told you!" Kisame bellowed out in laughter.

"Shut up Kisame! I DO NOT look like a poodle!" She growled and Kisame just laughed louder.

"Well Tobi thinks your pretty!" Piped up an obnoxious voice in the balcony next to Deidara.

Sakura looked up at him and noticed he had a mask on with black and orange swirls, _'That must be the sugar addicted 5 year old man.'_ Sakura noted and then blushed a little thanking him for his comment.

"Okay that's enough, let's do what we came her to do." The leaders demanding spoke up and grabbed everyone's attention.

"Now, I need someone to fight against Sakura so I can analyze and see her skills myself." The leader added looking around for a volunteer.

"Oh! Tobi will! Tobi will!" Tobi waved his hand around excitedly and the leader sighed and agreed, rubbing his temples do to the growing pain in his head.

"Man kid, you're a dead man." Kisame chuckled remembering her unusual strength.

"Okay, begin when ready." The leader gave them the go and Tobi hopped down in front of Sakura and they got in their fighting stances.

Sakura's signal to start was when Tobi hopped three steps backwards and started performing hand signs.

'_God, he's an eager one.'_ Sakura chuckled and gathered chakra into her fist raising it high in the air and then plunging it into the ground with full force knocking the unexpecting Tobi off his feet.

The whole room started shaking and Deidara's Balcony started to crack off the wall.

"GAH!" Deidara huffed and then jumped down before he fell landing on the broken and cracked ground.

"Hah, you deserved that one." Sakura laughed that out of all the balcony's his happened to be the one to fall.

"Gah, bitch." Deidara scowled and walked over to the wall where his balcony used to be and sat on a pile of rubble.

Snickers and chuckles were going around the room because apparently they found what happened to Deidara humorous too.

"Well before you destroy this room anymore I think your strength is enough to go off of." The leader replied descending down to the floor as well.

"Tobi, since you lost you can take the liberty of fixing it." Leader added walking up to Sakura.

Tobi pouted showing his disappointment.

"Next, to show your loyalty I'd like you to take Deidara, Kakuzu, and Zetsu and go to KonohaGakure. There's something I want, and I think this'd be the perfect test for you." He smirked at Sakura's small frown think it was due to having to set foot in Konoha again, but that wasn't it at all.

"What?! Deidara?! Whyyy?" Sakura whined and gave a pouty look making the leaders smirk drop.

"Wait, so you don't mind going to KonohaGakure?" He asked raising his eyebrows at her.

"Huh? No not at all, as long as it's not with him!" She shouted pointing a finger at the grumbling transvestite.

"Well then that's another test for you. If you can't get closer to Deidara during this mission then you can't join." The leader replied walking towards the door.

Sakura's mouth dropped and she crossed her arms in a sulking fashion.

"Wait, leader-sama what exactly are we supposed to get for you?" Zetsu's lighter half asked and the leader turned around and faced them.

"I want…" everyone leaned in curiously "…a…" and leaned a little more "…very…" a tiny bit more "…important…" they were almost falling over in curiosity "…jelly filled donut…" with that he left the members all laying flat on their faces.

Sakura jumped up, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"

The leader popped his head back through the door and gave a serious look, "If you fail this mission, I will make sure you never see the light of day again…or join the Akatsuki." Then he vanished once again, only this time he took Konan with him.

"Well then, shall we go now?" Zetsu's white side asked turning to Sakura, Deidara, and Kakuzu, his partners for this mission.

"God damn, now we've got to get along on this gay ass mission?" Deidara complained glaring at the floor.

"I better hear about some hand holding and face sucking cause I'm not gonna count you guys just not fighting." Kisame chuckled and watched as Sakura's and Deidara's eyes went wide.

"EW! With the she-male?!? No Way!" Sakura put her hands up held them out in a gesture of refusal.

"Like I'd want to make out with a dog." Deidara glared and snarled at Sakura.

"I'm NOT a poodle!" Sakura stormed.

"Woah, woah, no one said anything about making out Deidara. Now your just jumping ahead of yourself, pervert." Kisame started to chuckled again when Deidara's face went white and grumbled a few profanity words putting Hidan to shame.

"That's okay Deidara, if you don't want her I'll gladly take her." Hidan, the violet eyed, silver haired, killer replied with a malicious grin.

"Run Sakura Run! He's gonna rape you! RAPE YOU!" Tobi squealed and tried pushing Sakura out the door.

"Tobi, I think I can handle a pervert like him after being around Kakashi and Naruto so much." Sakura giggled at Tobi wanting to protect her from a Hidan.

"Okay, but be careful, I don't trust that man." He whispered into her ear and earned a glared from Hidan.

"God damn Tobi, I'm not gonna rape, I'm just saying the bitch is fare game for us all." He commented shaking his head.

"Well come on. We have a mission." Kakuzu the man with the mask and stitches stated having Deidara, Sakura, and Zetsu follow him out of the room.

The others left as well, leaving poor sweet Tobi to fix up the entire training room by himself.

Deidara popped back in once again, "I expect my balcony back up too Tobi."

"Aw, Deidara sempai, this is gonna take Tobi forever." Tobi complained and Deidara grabbed a little clay out from under his cloak and let his hands mouths take it and spit it back out to form a small clay bird. He let it go with a smirk and laughed as the small clay bird flapped around chasing the squealing Tobi.

"I'm Sorry Deidara! I'm sorry!!" Tobi ran with his arms in the air trying to dodge the clay bird, or the…ticking time bomb.

The small bird blew up sending Tobi flying across the room and landing in a pile of rubble that used to be the training room floor.

Tobi groaned and sat up, " Tobi hates you Deidara Sempai, now I'm not going to fix your balcony." Tobi crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air.

Deidara just smirked again and made another small clay bird, letting it go once again. Tobi shrieked and jumped up again running from another clay bird.

Deidara started to walk down the hallway chuckling and counted out loud, "5...4...3...2...1..boom."

* * *

******************Tada! I told you I'd have more funnies this time, you like you like un? So I'm seriously telling your right now that I do not know who to pair Sakura with yeah. So I'm going to have a poll on who you'd like me to pair her with, okay un? Any of the Akatsuki you'd like okay okay yeah? So please give me your opinion un! I'll definitely have up the next chapter sooner yeah!**

******************Plum-- Wooh, I have to say I dedicate the inspiration for my funnies to the coca-cola factories, and willy wonka…and up beat music, if it wasn't for you, I don't know where I'd be un! cries uncontrollably **

******************Shika-- The evil wore off?**

******************Plum-- Yeah yeah, but apparently your make-up didn't…nice pigtails un.**

******************Shika-- WHAT?!? TEMARIII!! YOU CHEATED!! I WAS ASLEEP!!**

******************Temari-- Teeheehee…**

******************Shika-- NOOOOOooooo**oooo**…my manhood…it's gone…all…gone…**

******************Plum-- Here Shika un…Hands him redbull**

******************Shika-- MY MANHOOD! IT'S REPLENISHED!!**

******************Temari-- Redbull may give you wings…but I guarantee it doesn't wash off that waterproof eyeliner and lipstick.**

******************Shika--NOOOOooooooo**oooo…

******************Temari-- Muahahaaa! Review review please!**

******************Please review un! **


	3. Mssion: Jelly Donut un!

**Yo! I am SO sorry it took me so long to update un. Simply put, I was grounded for 2 weeks from the computer and then my **_**lovely**_** little brother got a virus on it, so that was about 4 weeks away from the computer yeah. Not cool un, not cool. So I'm making it up to you by having a long chapter yeah. So enjoy un.**

**Plum--I've been writing this story all day un. **

**Tobi--Tobi's sorry!**

**Plum--No worries, It's not your fault un.**

**Tobi--Need a Tobi hug?**

**Deidara-- Shut up Tobi yeah!**

**Tobi--Meanie!**

**(boom!)**

**Tobi--Ow!**

**Deidara--Plum doesn't own Naruto un.**

**Enjoy, yeah!**

* * *

Deidara casually walked up to Sakura, Kakuzu, and Zetsu who were impatiently waiting by the fancy wooden doors.

"You took long enough gaydo." Sakura huffed placing her hands on her hips in a agitated manner.

"Gaydo?" Kakuzu questioned looking at her warily.

"Yeah, Deidara plays with playdo, so just substitute 'play' with his natural instinct and you get gaydo." Sakura watched as Deidara contorted his face in an annoyed manner.

Deidara didn't even try this time and just brushed past her walking through the wooden doors and down the dreary stone hallway.

* * *

**With Tobi **

"Deidara-semapai can be so mean sometimes." Tobi sobbed grabbing pieces of rubble and throwing them into a single pile.

"Tobi?" Someone called his name sweetly from the door, causing Tobi to spin and answer their call.

"Yes Kisame?" Tobi asked obediently, watching as Kisame held his hands behind his hands suspiciously behind his back.

"Well you see, leader told me I was on dinner duty, but you don't really want to eat my sushi again, do you?" Kisame tried to reason with Tobi, sucking him into his guilt black hole.

"Oh, Tobi didn't mind you sushi Kisame!" Tobi cheered trying to make Kisame feel better.

"I personally think it would be so much better if you cooked your delicious dinner that we all love so much." Kisame replied pulling a spatula and frying pan out from behind his back.

"Really? You like Tobi's cooking? Oh then Tobi will make dinner then finish fixing the room!" Tobi cheered and ran up to Kisame grabbing the supplies from him and trotted down the hall to the kitchen.

Kisame chuckled at how easily he could make Tobi do whatever he wanted, "Sucker."

With nothing to do now, Kisame simply decided to go and watch Tobi do the chore he was supposed to do. "Might as well watch Tobi suffer." He chuckled for the millionth time that day and walked off to his destination to the kitchen.

* * *

**With Sakura, Dei, Zetsu, and Kakuzu**

"Why are we leaving now? The sun's just now coming out, and I'm tired." Sakura questioned, following behind Kakuzu letting Zetsu trail further behind and Deidara up ahead.

"We have no reason to hurry, and walking will take us close to two days to get there, so we might as well leave now and take an afternoon break and set up camp later on tonight. That way by the time we get there we'll all be ready." Kakuzu answered not really caring much about this mission.

"We don't have tents though." Sakura exclaimed, enlightening them to this little piece of information.

Zetsu picked up his pace to where he was walking beside Sakura, "We don't carry tents. We sleep on the ground." His light side replied attempting to converse with her.

Sakura was a little startled at his sudden appearance next to her, but none the less appreciated that he actually seemed as though he wanted to be near and talking to her.

"Don't you get cold?" She asked keeping up the small talk.

He smirked a little, "We have our cloaks."

"Well that's no fare, I don't have one." Sakura complained drawing her eyes down trying to look disappointed.

Zetsu glanced over at her and thought a little then his light side answered again, "You, can take mine if you like."

"Wah? Real--"

"No. You can't have Zetsu's. Remember Zetsu, Deidara and Sakura are the ones that are supposed to be getting closer. Not you and her." Kakuzu jumped in taking Sakura's other side leaving Deidara way ahead of him.

"**What's that supposed to mean stitch-boy?" **Zetsu's dark side snapped at him taking up an evil glare.

"I'm only saying Zetsu, if you win over Sakura, Deidara and her will never get closer." Kakuzu grumbled. He really hated explaining himself.

"**What makes you think I'm trying to win her over?" **Once you upset Zetsu's dark side, there was no end of it for a while.

Kakuzu raised his eyebrows and looked down to Sakura, "Simple Zetsu, because we all are."

Sakura turned cherry red and choked on her own breathing air, "Well! I think we should stop and get some food or something!" She shouted out once they got to a clear opening.

Kakuzu stopped along with Zetsu, "Yeah fine. Go tell Deidara to go with you and find something for us."

Sakura grumbled but did as he said, running up to Deidara and making him go help her catch fish in a near by creek.

"**Well then, are you telling me that I've got competition or something?"**Zetsu's dark side questioned, taking a seat against one of the trees. Facing Kakuzu who was sitting across from him.

"She's fare game. So just be prepared to battle for her." Kakuzu chuckled, getting a kick out of how funny that had sounded.

"Are we all that desperate? To want to fight over one girl like that. None the less, one that we met close to two hours ago." Zetsu's light side questioned, pushing around some dirt with a nearby branch.

"Some girls have effects like that. I think she's got them." Kakuzu sighed leaning against the tree and enjoying their time to rest.

* * *

**With Deidara and Sakura**

They were both standing in the water up to mid thigh trying to catch the pain in the ass fish.

"GAH! I give up un!" Deidara screamed and smacked the water with his hand walking out.

"Deidara! I almost had one, but you just had to go and scare it away." Sakura grumbled, setting her sights on another one coming her way.

Deidara rolled his eyes and reached into a pack strapped in his leg, "Get out of the water unless you want to be fish food yeah."

"Why?" Sakura questioned him, but did as told, trudging out of the chilly water.

Once she was fully out Deidara took a ball of clay and threw It into the water, making a small wall of water shoot up where he set of the clay bomb.

Within seconds fish started bobbing up to the top of the water on their sides.

Deidara smirking and looked over at Sakura, "Dinner's served un."

Sakura just rolled her eyes and gathered up enough fish for the four of them to eat.

Once they had all that they needed they headed back to the other two.

* * *

"Okay! Dinner is served." Sakura grinned passing a fish on a stick to each of them, right off the fire.

After finishing their filling breakfast they headed out again, making their way towards KonohaGakure. With little small talk and much walking they eventually decided to stop and set down for the night.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm not hungry. Just tired." Sakura yawned out, stretching and ready for bed.

"I'm sure we can all wait till tomorrow to eat, so go to bed. I'll take first watch." Kakuzu exclaimed and then jumped into a nearby tree.

"Deidara, let Sakura-san sleep with you." Zetsu's light side told him while he settled down further away from him.

"What?!? Oh no no no! No Way un!" Deidara put up his hands and shouted at him.

"Hey, I don't want to sleep by you either, but one of my jobs is to become friendlier with you. So just put up with it, okay?" Sakura huffed and walked over by where he was standing.

"Hah, like I could care un. I would rather you didn't get in yeah." He crossed his arms and laughed at her.

"Deidara, I'll make it worth your while if you get along with me and help me get in Akatsuki." She whispered to him smirking at him cunningly.

Deidara blushed a little and coughed, choking a little.

"Ah, dummy! I didn't mean anything like that! You pervert! I mean I'll do anything you want, I swear it." Sakura smacked him lightly on the head, watching as he caught his breath after his little choking scene.

Deidara glared at her suspiciously then gave in, "Fine un. But I get anything I want yeah."

"Yeah yeah, now take off that cloak, your sharing with me." Sakura waved him off, just wanting to get to sleep.

Deidara hesitated, but took it off anyways. He sat against the tree and Sakura walked and sat right next to him, pulling his cloak to where it was covering both of them. They sat there awkwardly for a couple minutes but soon enough Sakura could careless. Her sleep was more important than worrying about who she was going to be sleeping next too.

She just closed her eyes and scooted down so she was comfortably resting her head on Deidara's shoulder.

Her _very_ close presence startled him, but he decided against shoving her off and just left her, falling asleep as well.

* * *

Sakura swore she could hear arguing, and perhaps that's what woke her up from her uncomfortable sleep.

"They are definitely to close for that to even be considered friendly."

"**Wake them up then!"**

"Your screeching will wake them up on it's own."

"**Screw you."**

"I'd rather not."

"**Okay, enough jackass, I just want her to stop holding him like that."**

"Jealous?"

"**You are too."**

"Not exactly."

"**Liar!"**

"Zetsu, now look what you did, she's waking up."

Sakura slowly fluttered her eyes open only to see Zetsu and Kakuzu staring down at her looking, interested?

"What?" She asked still not moving from her sleeping position.

"Mind letting go of me un?" Deidara's grumpy voice was heard as her answer.

She completely forgot about him. Once his question hit her she squeaked and jumped up, kicking him in the side lightly in the process.

"Ow un!"

During her sleep she must have moved around a lot. Cause Kakuzu and Zetsu woke up to find her tightly wrapped around Deidara and one leg propped up over his, seemingly possessively.

"S-sorry." She stuttered out in embarrassment.

"Let's just go yeah." Deidara grumbled and started walking ahead of them once again.

They had another long walk to go, only stopping when they ate. When it was close to night they finally arrived close to the KonohaGakure gate.

"Well, we're close. We should figure out how we're going to do this." Kakuzu spoke up, stopping to a halt.

Sakura walked over to him, ready to start their planning. "Okay, so what's the plan?"

"Well we need to blend in. Meaning you and one of us will need to go with you to pose as a husband and wife." Kakuzu replied answering her.

"Not me un." Deidara spat out and walked away to sulk.

They all sighed and rolled their eyes and then Zetsu's light half spoke up, " Well Kakuzu you look more human than I, so you go."

Sakura looked up at Kakuzu who looked back, "We'll stop in a nearby town and grab a change of clothes then. You ready?"

She 'mmh'ed' and nodded her head.

"Deidara and I will stay here, be careful, Sakura." Zetsu's light side replied before walking away to find the sulking blonde baby.

Sakura and Kakuzu then headed off in the direction of a small town to get what they needed to blend in as a husband and wife.

* * *

"What do you think?" Sakura asked walking up to Deidara and Zetsu with Kakuzu.

They had bought the needed clothes and were back near the entrance of Konoha.

"Good, Sakura. Kakuzu you blend right in…sort of." Zetsu's light side complimented as they walked up.

Sakura was dressed in semi-tight fitting plain pink sundress. With plain straw sandles accompanied by a large straw hat to cover most of her face. Where as Kakuzu wore his same face mask covered with the same straw hat and straw sandles Sakura had. He had on a long sleeved cloth shirt and long loose fitting dark pants to cover all of his stitches.

"Kakuzu went cheep and wouldn't buy me anything nice." Sakura pouted sticking out her bottom lip.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and huffed, "I told you that was too much, I don't like spending money."

"I've noticed." Sakura huffed then grabbed his hand in hers, "Well, you ready?"

He squeezed his hand around hers tighter and nodded his head, walking off and leaving a grumbling Deidara and a disappointed Zetsu.

* * *

"You there! Your names!"

"Suko Akisho and Kiato Akisho. We're travelers from Suna." Kakuzu answered the guards at the Konoha gate.

"Sir, we don't have anything with us. I stupidly left our bags out in the open while my husband here went to catch us food and I went for a walk. When we got back everything was gone, we're terribly sorry." Sakura pulled a sob story right out of her ass, putting on her best acting voice.

The guards exchanged glances and then stayed silent a moment, "Hm, fine. But don't let it happen again. Open the gates!"

Sakura tilted down her head as she walked in with Kakuzu, smirking to herself. _'They actually bought it, those dumbasses. Tsunade needs to train them better.' _Sakura chuckled to herself, relived they got in okay.

Sakura picked her head up to see mothers calling their children in for dinner, shops closing up, and bars opening for the night. Street lamps were now bright and burning while the sun dipped below the towns horizon.

"You know, we're going to have to wait until tomorrow morning to get our 'mission' out of the way." She whispered up at Kakuzu who nodded in response.

"Want to go to an inn or something?"

Kakuzu looked down at her with an amused face, "And spend money? The alley way will do just fine."

"Kakuzu!" Sakura squealed as he started to walk down the street.

"Shh! Sakura if you must _scream_ my name please call me Kaito." Kakuzu grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him.

Sakura looked down embarrassed that she could have blown their cover so easily like that, "sorry."

"We'll stay at that inn over there." Kakuzu replied pointing over to a cheap looking place to stay.

Sakura looked to where he was pointing and her face dropped, "Figures you pick the crappiest one on the street."

"Oh what? Would you rather us stay in that one?" Kakuzu pointed to the other side of the street to an expensive looking fancy inn.

Just as Sakura looked up she saw a couple familiar faces walk out talking to someone she didn't know.

Kakuzu looked down at her since she wasn't answering and caught her staring at the people coming out of the place. "Know them?"

"Uh, no. Let's just stay at this crap hole, it's just fine." Sakura quickly pulled Kakuzu in the direction of the cheap in, every now and then glancing back at the people now outside of the fancy inn.

'_Naruto and Kakashi, already doing more missions eh? Guess I'm not missed, nothing for me to regret then.'_ Sakura looked back once more to see the both of them walking off in the farthest direction.

Before she even knew it they were walking into the inn, receiving greetings from the man behind the desk.

"Um yes, I would like a room for my wife and I." Kakuzu replied holding out the money for a one night stay.

'_Did I make the right choice?'_ Sakura thought to herself, oblivious everything else.

"Akhem."

She looked up to see Kakuzu holding up a room key eyeing her suspiciously.

Sakura just smiled up at him and they both walked to their assigned room.

* * *

**With Zetsu and Deidara**

"I'm cold un."

"**That's nice."**

"Why didn't we go in too un?"

"**You said you didn't want to, quit complaining girly."**

"Shut it fly trap un!"

"**I can't stand you!"**

"Oh bite me yeah!"

"**Maybe I will! Come closer and I'll have my dinner!"**

"Ah! Don't do that! You don't know where I've been un!"

"**Ew. Just go to bed."**

"I miss Sasori no danna yeah."

"**You. Bed. Now."**

"Ass un."

"**I'm gonna eat em."**

"Ah! Zetsu! Spit me out un! Spit me out!"

* * *

**With Sakura and Kakuzu**

Sakura was awoken by Kakuzu early at day break. Ready to get their mission over and done with.

They now walked through the middle of the bustling street, trying to push their way over to a shop that sold candies and sweets.

"Hey, over there!" Sakura grabbed Kakuzu's hand and pulled him over to a shop with sweet aroma's emanating from under it's roof.

"Hello miss! What would you like?" A young and perky brunette asked, giving Sakura a huge smile.

"Uh, well. Do you sell jelly filled donuts?" Sakura asked sheepishly. She thought this was the stupidest mission she had ever been sent on, honestly.

"We sure do! What flavor jelly would you like?"

Sakura immediately looked up to Kakuzu, "Crap, he didn't give a flavor!"

"What flavors do you have?" Kakuzu asked, stepping up for Sakura.

"Well, we have strawberry, blueberry, peach, cherry, cranberry, blackberry, boysenberry, grape, and asparagus."

"Okay, we'll take--did you say asparagus?" Kakuzu questioned with a look of shock adorning his face.

"Uhm, yes sir!" The brunette chirped again, not finding the jelly flavored asparagus odd at all.

"Okay then, we'll take the asparagus flavored one." Kakuzu told her, giving her the money and taking the donut in a bag from her.

Sakura looked up to him in shock, "Kakuzu, Leader will be so mad if he eats that."

"Let's just say it's payback for him making us go on this stupid mission…and making me spend more money." Kakuzu smirked leading Sakura in the direction of the Konoha gates to get out of there.

"Yes, we've got the donut and--uff" Sakura's sentence was cut off when a drunk man stumbling down the street pushed into her, causing her to fall into Kakuzu.

"Hey! Why don't you apologize drunk?" Kakuzu grumbled, yelling after him.

"Oh my god! SAKURA!"

Kakuzu and Sakura spun their heads around only to see Ino standing there staring at them.

Sakura didn't know how the hell Ino could have known it was her, but then in mid thought she saw her straw hat laying on the ground, and her pink hair was visible to the naked eye.

Just as soon as Sakura realized what was going on Ino was running to the hokage's tower at full speed.

"Shit! Come on Sakura!" Kakuzu pulled her by the arm and they started running towards the gate.

"Perfect." Just as soon as they had gotten to the gate, they had a lovely bunch of Anbu's standing guard.

"Come on, down here." Kakuzu pulled her down a tight alley way, hoping to keep out of the sight of any one after them in there.

"Hey! What are you doing down there?!" Two guys clad in Anbu armor started to walk towards them, that's when Kakuzu took control to get them out of this.

He pulled the panicking Sakura up against his body and pressed his lips firmly to hers. He put his arm up with his hat in his hand, covering their kissing faces from the Anbu.

Kakuzu moved his lips along hers in a passionate way as his right hand grabbed her firm butt and pushed her body even closer to his. Sakura, not even thinking, moaned against him allowing him to slip his tongue into her hot mouth. Allowing him to roam her moist caverns with his silk tongue.

"Ehkhm, uh…" One of the two anbu rubbed the back of his head and turned away slightly.

"Hmph, kids." The other one replied walking away with his partner.

Once Kakuzu knew they were gone he slowly pulled away from her breathing raggedly.

"We'll stay back here for a while okay?" He asked, looking away from the flushed girl.

"O-Okay." Sakura mumbled, still thinking over what just happened.

'_I-I actually, enjoyed that!' _Sakura stood leaning against the alley wall wide eyed and still taking in deep breaths.

"So it's true. You are back."

Sakura's head spun around to the voice. "God, not again!"

* * *

**Yay! All done with my long chapter un! Happy yeah?? I hope you all enjoy it un! **

**Plum--I'm bad at kiss scenes un T.T**

**Sakura--Mmm, you did just fine.**

**Plum--Pervert yeah.**

**Kakuzu--I have to agree with Sakura.**

**Plum--I'm surrounded by pervs un!**

**Sakura--Your the one who wrote it!**

**Plum--Oh shut up yeah.**

**Kakuzu--On the other hand, review please.**

**Plum--What he said un.**

**Please review, yeah! **


	4. Ladies and Gentlemen un!

**Hey, uh yeah…ha ha…so, it's been a while un. Okay! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME…yeah. I'm so terribly sorry I haven't updated, for like what, 3 ½ months…I'm so sorry un! I honestly lost track of time, before I knew it, it was a month, then 2 months, then 3...aggrr, it just flew by yeah. Anyways, I've got great ideas for the next couple chapters or so un. So I'll be updating sooner cause I've already got half of the next chapter written out, yay yeah! Okay, well enough of this yeah,!**

**Plum-- So. Very. Sorry. Un.**

**Shika-- You should feel ashamed.**

**Plum-- Gee, thanks for the support yeah. **

**Shika-- No problemo. **

**Plum-- Mm, well on with the story un.**

**Tobi-- Plum doesn't own Naruto!**

**Plum-- Oh yeah, right I don't un. **

**Tobi-- But she does own a pretty pink bra!**

**Plum-- TOBI!**

**Tobi-- AAH! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!**

**Enjoy, yeah!**

* * *

"Sh-Shikamaru?!" Sakura watched as said person jumped down into the alleyway not far from them.

Kakuzu growled and pulled Sakura by her upper arm just a little bit closer to him, taking up a defensive stance in the meantime.

Shikamaru noticed and put his hands in front of him, "Easy now, I'm just here to talk."

"Shikamaru, you can easily call anbu, attack, succeed, capture one Akastuki member and a missing nin and your telling me all you want to do is talk?" Sakura asked him skeptically, still in Kakuzu's hold.

"I could, but that's all too troublesome, so I'm just settling with talking." Shikamaru answered with a stiff face. He earned a hardened glare from Kakuzu and a frustrated huff from Sakura. Their defenses lightened and they both relaxed just a little, giving Shikamaru the go ahead.

"Well then, how have you been Sakura?" Shikamaru asked lightly letting a smirk dance across his face.

"Cut the crap Shikamaru, what the hell do you want?" Sakura snarled at him, her patience wearing thin.

His face was quickly wiped free of any emotion and he asked in a strictly business tone, "Okay then, why'd you do it?"

She chuckled with dry humor, of course that's what he wanted to talk about, "Do what Shikamaru? Leave, join the Akatsuki, come back, or eat that crayon when I was four?"

"You know what I mean Sakura, why'd you do it, any of it?"

She let a smile play her lips, really, why was this so amusing? She just didn't know, "Shikamaru, here I thought you were a genius. Well, I left because I wanted to, I joined the Akatsuki because I wanted to, I came back because I had to, and I believe I ate that crayon because I was hungry."

Shikamaru growled at her false humor, "God damn it! Sakura, you made her cry! I'm not going to let you stand here and say 'because I wanted to' knowing it's tearing them apart!"

Sakura looked taken aback for a moment, "Who's them?"

"Them? Who do you think Sakura? Who'd cry over you leaving? Your friends of course. Tenten, Hinata…even Temari…and Ino. Ino still hasn't really stopped either. You know she blames herself for it, she says she should have known what you were planning. She keeps telling us all that it was her job as your best friend to know everything about you, and here she didn't even know you were that unhappy here. She's hurting Sakura, and I don't know what to do." Shikamaru finished off, looking down in disappointment.

Sakura watched him, eyes indifferent.

"Shikamaru, If you care so much about Ino crying put an arm around her and tell her everything's going to be okay. Tell her I'll come back one day. Tell her it's not her fault, tell her anything you want." Sakura turned and was now facing Kakuzu's chest. "Just know this Shikamaru, none of it's true. I won't be coming back, and none of it will ever be okay." Kakuzu turned around as well and they both started walking to the end of the alleyway to try and make their escape unnoticed.

"Sakura wait." He watched her stop, "I'll…" He paused and sighed deeply, knowing exactly what he'd be doing in a few minutes, knowing how badly he'd be betraying Konoha, "I'll distract the anbu at the gate, giving you a chance to get away."

Sakura didn't even bother to turn around, she just mumbled a stoic "okay" and Shikamaru made his way off to the front gate.

* * *

"Do you honestly think he's going to help us get away?" Kakuzu asked while he and Sakura peeked around the corner of a wall, watching Shikamaru work his magic.

"Yeah, I do. Shikamaru's not the type to lie. I really don't know what he gains from helping us escape, but I do know he's going to do what he says." Sakura filled him in on a little bit of the qualities of Shikamaru.

They saw the anbu talking to Shikamaru suddenly take off for the Hokage's tower, leaving the their exit from Konoha unguarded.

They quickly made their way over to Shikamaru and gave him a quick thanks, then picked up their feet again and made it through the gates, hearing a "Sakura, be careful" trailing behind them.

* * *

"_Sakura, Kakuzu, we heard a lot of commotion coming from inside the walls, is everything alright_?" Zetsu's light half asked in concern once they were in view.

"Yeah, we'll explain later. For now let's just get out of here, we don't need any anbu dogs tracking us to the Headquarters." Kakuzu replied running past Deidara and Zetsu with Sakura, having them catch up in seconds.

* * *

"SAKURA-CHAN!!" Tobi screamed and glomped the shocked Kunoichi.

Deidara scowled and grabbed tobi by the back of his cloak, "Get off her yeah."

Hidan snickered and pointed an accusing finger at him after greeting Sakura with a perverted smirk, "You, little bitch, are jealous."

"What un? No! No no no. No…no." He closed his eyes and crossed his arms, sticking his nose in the air, "No."

"Pfft, all the damn no's are only making you seem guilty." Hidan antagonized.

Deidara growled, ready to pounce the jashinist.

The giant blue shark face walked in just in time to stall Deidara's pounce. "Pinky! Your back. How'd it go?" Kisame asked, surprisingly excited to see her.

"God damn! Does everyone have to be here to greet her yeah?! Why does everyone care un?!" Deidara huffed, throwing his arms in the air.

Kisame rolled his eyes at him, "We're not all here."

Deidara's nostrils flared, "Yeah huh un!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to listen to Cherry Blossom damn it! And no, Kisame is right. Itachi, Sasori--" Hidan was cut off by said two Akatsuki's strolling in magically.

Deidara smirked, "Ha ha ha, I settle my case yeah."

Kisame snorted, " You forgot Konan and Pein, ha ha ha, case **un**settled."

With that said Deidara stormed off down the hallway, pouting all the way.

Kisame shrugged it off, "Anyways, so as I asked before, how'd it go?"

Suddenly they were all circling Sakura like children listening to their mom telling a scary story.

"Uhm well…we got the donut." She started awkwardly, Kakuzu holding up the paper bag for them to see.

"_What happened that caused all the ruckus though?" _Zetsu asked, genially curious.

"Oh, well some drunk knocked into me and my hat fall off, revealing my pink hair to the world. Ino, she was a friend of mine, noticed me and took off screaming to the town 'OH MY GOD! SAKURA!' and thus we had Anbu on our tails." Sakura informed them, growling in frustration at her clumsiness in the first place.

"Well how the hell did you guys get away?" Hidan asked.

"Well we made our way to an alleyway to wait it out but two anbu walked down their to check who we were so Kakuzu…" Sakura trailed off, eyes going wide at the realization of what exactly happened in the alleyway with him. She glanced around and her eyes fell on Kakuzu, the damn bastard grinning at the memory. She blushed and quickly cleared her throat, "Ahh, so um…yeah, they left and then another one of my old friends came down and talked to us. For reasons unknown he helped distract the guards at the gate so we could make our escape. Then we met up with Deidara and Zetsu and now here we are. Heh heh." She smiled sheepishly, the blush still obvious on her face.

Hidan glared at her skeptically, "For some damn reason I have a feeling you left out a big chunk. Perhaps the part were you got the anbu to leave? So Sakura, what exactly did the bastard Kakuzu do to get them to leave?"

Sakura choked on her own spit, "Aa ha ha, n-nothing. They left on their own, yeah, yeah that's it. They left on their own!"

Itachi glared at her, apparently not buying her lame cover up. Honestly, who would? "Sakura, we're no idiots." He shifted his glare to Kakuzu, "Kakuzu, what did you do?"

Kakuzu shrugged and looked indifferent, "I kissed her. The anbu mistook us for simple hormonal teenagers and left."

Gags went simultaneously around the room.

Sakura stared at him as if he had two heads, "KISSED ME?! Oh that's a bunch of bullshit! You raped my mouth!"

Tobi cried out and tugged at Sakura's legs, "Noooo! Sakura-chan was raped!"

"You made out with her?!" Hidan squealed, not cussing. Meaning he was pretty pissed. The more pissed he was the less he cussed, strange I know.

Kakuzu still stared at them indifferently, "Simply put, yes."

Hidan twitched at his nonchalance, "You disgust me." He hissed, glaring daggers at him.

'**Hidan's wrong! WRONG! It wasn't that bad.' **Inner sakura decided to butt in, distracting Sakura.

Sakura couldn't help but to agree with inner, "Yeah, actually it was kinda hot."

All of them looked at her, eyes wide. Except for Kakuzu that is. He got up and moved till he was face to face with her, bending over her to reach her level. He place a finger under her chin and pulled her up to look at him. "You think that was hot? Wait till you can see what I can do when I'm not using it as a distraction."

Sakura just stared at his alluring smirk. She didn't care if his mouth was sewn shut, it still looked hot. Only then did she realize she had said it out loud though. "Eep, I said that out loud didn't I?" She blushed as Kakuzu went to move his face closer to hers.

"HEY! I. Don't. Think. So." Hidan was instantly in between both of them, pushing them each in different directions and away from each other.

Then he desperately turned to Sakura. "How could you think kissing this bastard was hot? Your telling me you enjoyed the make out session you shared with him?" Hidan grabbed her shoulders and shook her lightly.

Sakura grabbed his arms that outstretched to her shoulders to stop the movements, "Hey, I'm a woman, he's a man, what's not to like?"

Hidan rolled his eyes, "Damn, that's not what I meant! You'd kiss him and not _me_?!"

"Well _sorry_ but that's not what you asked. And I never said I wouldn't kiss you. You're a man too, so why would I have a reason not to?" Sakura huffed crossing her arms.

Hidan just stared at her. She just said she'd kiss him, did she not? "You know, I'm startin to like you more and more." He grinned then without a second thought slammed his mouth down on hers.

Her eyes widened and she squealed onto his mouth as the pressure knocked them both over; Him now sprawled out over top her still pressing his lips to hers.

"What the hell??" Kisame widened his eyes as Hidan started to pry her lips apart with his tongue. They could see it all. Sakura was blushing heavily and her hands were pressed against his chest pushing at him slightly. Her resistance stopped suddenly and she opened her mouth to let him in, sliding her arms around his neck and closing her eyes.

Kisame blushed about as red as a tomato but just couldn't look away. Her being forced down by a man was just so…so hot.

The others were in no better shape, all gaping at the scene before them, neither one wanting to look away. Most hands came to rest over certain _areas_ and they grunted to hold in pleasured sounds. This was like watching a live porno when Hidan's hands started to travel down her sides and pushing up her shirt.

Sakura didn't care about her reputation anymore, she was with the Akatsuki, she'd have all the reputation she needed with them. When hot men pushed you down and ravished your mouth…you really could care less what happened.

"Akhem…AKHEM!" Everyone shot up their blushing faces to stare at Pein with Konan at his side.

Sakura quickly pushed Hidan off her and fixed her hair and clothes, coming to her knees and looking down bashfully.

Pein just stared at them, unaffected. "Well, I could really care less if you all decide to have an orgy but I would appreciate it if you reported to me straight away after a mission." He replied, looking specifically at Zetsu, Kakuzu, and Sakura.

Kakuzu got up and shoved a brown bag towards him. "We got what you requested leader-sama."

Pein looked past that bag at Sakura, who still had her head down. "Well done Sakura. But I do believe you had another test, how well did you and deidara get along?"

Sakura didn't get a chance to answer because Zetsu jumped in, **"The bastards in denial. **_Yes, but they did fight an awful lot…I don't know if you could really say that they got along._"

Sakura's jaw dropped, "Not true I slept with him!"

The leaders eyebrows raised and he looked pleased.

Hidan rolled his eyes and huffed, "Deidara too?" He asked her widening his eyes.

Sakura looked at him, knitting her eyebrows, "What?…No! Not like that!" It hit her suddenly, "I didn't sleep with him as in sexually, we just--"

"--Spooned each other." Kakuzu cut her off, stating the fact bluntly.

Leader shrugged his shoulder, "Whatever, good enough for me." With that he grabbed the paper bag and retreated out of the room with Konan.

Sakura glared at Kakuzu, then thought a little, "Wait, does that mean I'm in Akatsuki?"

Sasori shrugged, face still blank as ever, "I'm sure he'll call you down later to tell you whether or not you passed."

Sakura smirked playfully at him, "Oh, it speaks."

Sasori was instantly behind her with his arms around her waist and mouth near her ear, "I do more than just that." He dipped his head down and claimed her neck with his mouth.

Sakura squeaked and froze, "Not you too."

He chuckled and continued his ministrations, moving his tongue expertly over her soft skin. Drawing soft moans from her lips.

She heard a low grunt and suddenly her front side was engulfed by Itachi's figure. He busied himself with the other side of her neck, his hands remaining on her sides, right above Sasori's.

Sakura felt hot, extremely hot. "W-what are you d-doing I-itachi?"

"I'm a man, you're a woman, what do you think?" He breathed out, his hot breath coasting over her damp skin.

On the other side of her neck Sasori hit a tender spot causing her to moan out loudly in appreciation. She heard several low grunts in response around her.

If Kisame was red before, he was certainly red now. His partner and a fellow member were communicating sexually with another fellow member…_at the same time._

"Wh-what are you guys--aaaah" She lost her breath when Sasori moved his hand up her shirt unexpectedly. Sakura shut her eyes tightly, what the hell was going on? Well, she _knew_ what was going on…but…why? Not that she didn't like it, she just wanted to know.

She struggled to muster up the strength to push Itachi slightly back and move away from Sasori a little. They both looked at her, panting slightly.

Sakura took a deep breath, regaining her composure. "Okay, not that I didn't enjoy that, but what the hell is going on?" She looked up at them expectantly. When she got no answer she huffed slightly, "First Kakuzu, then Hidan, now you and Sasori." Sakura mainly directed her question towards Itachi, he was in front of her after all.

Itachi stared at her, "Your ours now, isn't it obvious?"

Sakura stared back dumbly, "What? I'm yours? All of yours? Your telling me you guys actually share?"

Hidan laughed in the background, "Surprising huh? Well when we want something as badly as we want you, we all somehow just deal with it."

Sakura crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes, "Don't I get a say so?"

"You said you enjoyed it did you not? You said kissing me was hot, and you didn't resist Hidan. Honestly, what could you possibly not like about getting eight men, all at once?" Kakuzu asked curiously.

Sakura widened her eyes, "Eight? Hidan, Itachi, Sasori, Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi, Deidara, and you?"

Kakuzu just nodded.

"Even Tobi?" Sakura sort of squeaked that question out and looked at Tobi. She repeated his name because she honestly couldn't see Tobi of all people…kissing her.

Tobi nodded excitedly, "Tobi's a good boy Sakura-chan!"

Kakuzu smacked his face, "Okay maybe not Tobi, only seven then."

"It'll be fun." Sasori whispered in her ear and slipped something over her head and around her neck.

"What--" Sakura stopped and fingered the choker he just placed on her. She looked back at him, apparently looking for an explanation.

"Just in case we lose you. People will know where you belong." He chuckled and fingered the 'A' dangling off the necklace. "I thought something like this would happen. So while you were gone I made this." It was a wooden 'A' strapped on by black silk.

Sakura "oh'd" She really didn't mind the idea.

"So, what do you say _Sakura-chan_?" Itachi purred seductively into her ear.

Sakura shook her head, "I can't believe I'm going to agree to this, I feel like such a slut."

Zetsu walked over grinning happily, "No, not a slut Sakura, just our woman. Just call us…your harem."

Sakura giggled, "I like the sound of that."

Sasori suddenly wrapped an arm around her waist again, but all he did was simply hold her; shoving his face into her hair and breathing deeply.

Sakura blushed when Hidan jumped in as well, taking his spot in front of her, cupping her cheek and smiling cheekily down at her. Sakura rolled her eyes, "This is going to take a while getting used to." He moved to press his lips against hers when his ring vibrated violently, sending vibrations through her cheek, causing her to giggle.

"Ugh, Leader has _perfect_ timing. Damn him." Hidan complained and stomped off.

"Hm, looks like it's time to see if your in or not Sakura." Kisame walked over and rubbed a hand over her head. "Come on pinky." He grabbed her hand and pulled her off, the others following right on their tail.

* * *

**Well then, how'd you like it un? Very big…errr…romance chapter yeah. Sorry if I'm not up to your standards on writing romance pieces, but you'll just have to use your imaginations to make it better un. . I know how you all love to do that yeah!**

**Plum-- Eek, I'm a pervert un. **

**Sakura-- SEVEN GUYS AT ONCE!!**

**Orochimaru-- Lucky…**

**Plum-- What?**

**Orochimaru-- Eh…candy?**

**Plum-- Sicko un…**

**Sakura-- SEVEN WHOLE GUYS!!**

**Plum-- Yes, we've established that yeah. **

**Sakura-- I'M THE LUCKIEST GIRL EVER!!**

**Plum-- Really? I thought it'd really be hell having to please seven guys…in the **_**same night **_**un.**

**Sakura-- Oh god…what have I gotten myself into?? **

**Plum-- Tee hee, good luck yeah!**

**Sakura-- YOU DID THIS TO ME!!**

**Orochimaru-- Eckhm, here's my number and address…I'll take a few off your hands if you'd like.**

**Sakura-- Oh, what a life savor. **

**Orochimaru-- mm, yessss…he he hee…yessss…gummy bears?**

**Sakura-- Oh? Why thank you.**

**Plum-- Eh? Whatever, just review please un! **

**Review, yeah!**


	5. Id like to present to you un!

**SEMI-IMPORTANT-AUTHOR-NOTE**

**HELLO HELLO HELLO!! I know I know, your all thinking "let's shoot her…" but may I remind you that you'll NEVER get an updated chapter for any of my stories ever again if you do that…XD So hahaha, just put the dangerous looking keyboards down in a mature manner. Anyways, author note:**

**I'M GETTING A LAPTOP SOME TIME THIS WEEK!! Let's all cheer now! Cause I have a computer to write my chapters on but my one and only (lame) excuse for not writing is no inspiration or ideas. My computer used to be upstairs in my loft where it was nice and sunny and now I use my dads which is in his office where there is no sun ;; and I feel DEPRESSED! I just can't write in here. SO, I PROMISE to update A.S.A.P cause the latest I should get my laptop is the beginning of next week. I'll be able to go where ever I want that makes me feel able to write. Yays right? **

**So give me a second chance on these stories, please yeah?**

_**I sowwy!! **_

_Plum _


	6. Sharing is caring un!

**Uhm, Hi, so I realize it's been like, forever. I pretty much abandoned fanfiction, and since I felt terrible for my readers I decided to at least finish my most important stories. Considering it's been like, uhm, 3 years? Yikes. What can I say, time flies. Anywho, enjoy. Btw, I'd really really love reviews because in the last 3 years my ideas have changed and such, as well as my writing style in a way. So reviews would be lovely :)**** Thanks**

**Disclaimer: I do not own naruto**

* * *

Kisame, being the one in front, turned the door knob to Pein's "office."

In a matter of seconds, every motion went slow-mo.

The wooden door was slowly opened causing a slight breeze to ruffle Kisame's foolishly blue hair, while he turned his grin plastered face to Sakura. He slowly blinked his beady eyes a couple times and just as he was going to move out of the way of the door so that Sakura could graciously appreciate his gentlemanly ways, a donut flying at lightning fast speed exploded on his face.

"WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?" He gripped the graspable remains of pastry off his extremely shocked eyeballs and flung them to the ground.

Sakura and the rest of the men erupted into various levels of laughter, watching the blue man fade to red.

"KAKUZU! I KNOW THIS WAS YOUR FUCKING IDEA!" Kakuzu appeared in the leaders doorway, assuming it was safe considering Kisame already suffered the only donut to the face.

Another donut went flying. "What the fuck? I only bought one!" Kakuzu-being not so enamored with Sakura's face while the donut was whipped-easily dogged said donut. Green asparagus goop oozed from the damaged treat, spread on the wall outside the door.

"What is the meaning of this Kakuzu? Mission fail." Pein was glaring menacingly, etching lines into his desk with a very pronounced kunai.

Sakura, now standing at the doorway with everyone else, screeched in dismay as she watched Pein stamp a 'FAIL' onto the mission report.

Kakuzu rolled his green eyes, getting a large headache. "Forgive me leader-sama, it was a joke. I'll take the punishment, not Sakura."

Pein glared harder, "A joke? Oh, a joke. Well your joke tasted like shit." Pein spat like an angry German, "You're sentenced to cleaning duty, first by helping Tobi fix the training room."

Tobi grinned ear to ear. Not that anyone could tell.

"Oh for fucks sake." Kakuzu, clearly hanging around Hidan too often, accepted his dumb punishment.

Pein waved Sakura to step forward, done with Kakuzu. "Now, as for you, you are accepted into Akatsuki ranks. Your loyalty, for now, seems rightly placed. Your skills, with some tweaking, could end up at Akatsuki level, and your healing is much needed."

Sakura forced the idiotic grin off her face, trying to remain in all seriousness with Leader-sama.

"There is a cloak on your bed and a ring on your desk in your room, please go to it and leave my presence."

Everyone graciously bowed and sped from the room, taking their leave.

Pein sighed and leaned his head into Konan's soft touch as she twirled her finger through his short locks. "Konan, am I getting too soft with them? I mean, a jelly donut mission? Wow." He closed his eyes as he berated himself.

Konan lightly laughed, really enjoying how much of a family they had become.

* * *

Sakura stood outside of the door, giggling when she glanced at the donut spread on the wall.

Kakuzu grumbled and walked away with Tobi to do his idiotically stupid cleaning mission.

Sakura sighed, glancing up at the six - never mind zetsu just morphed into the wall-five members staring at her. "Well, is someone going to show me where my room is? I haven't exactly been here long enough to know where that's at."

Hidan let a lecherous smile play on his sleazy lips, "Fucking allow me."

Kisame, still pissed about the fucking donut, slammed his fist into Hidan's unsuspecting temple; his head rocketing into the wall. "How about fucking no." With no other questions asked Kisame swooped Sakura up by one arm and carried her like a rolled up sleeping bag.

"Kisame what the heck? I can walk you know." Sakura pounded lightly on his thigh, not really caring that he was carrying her. She relaxed and watched as the wooden floor passed beneath them.

* * *

A few twists, turns, and stairs later they were standing right in front of a cherry pink door. Sakura shook her head pathetically while Kisame swung the door open, throwing her on the cherry pink bed.

She glanced around as Kisame puffed up the cherry pink pillow, pushed the cherry pink chair that he bumped on the way in back under the cherry pink desk, and straightened the cherry pink lamp he had knocked over. She rolled her eyes after catching a glance at the cherry pink closet door and cherry pink walls. "Ridiculous. Who the fuck set this room up?"

Kisame stopped fidgeting with every single damn object in the room and shrugged his shoulders, not making eye contact with Sakura, "Probably Konan while we were gone on the mission. She tends to go overboard on making new comers feel welcome. When I joined my room had a whole fish tank wall built in, she said it would make me feel more at home."

Sakura laughed, picturing Kisame squeezing himself into the wall sized fish tank when he felt "homesick."

Kisame threw a cherry pink pencil at her that had just been lying on the desk, "It's not funny, I had a room right next to Hidan when I came, could see straight through the glass. _Oh _the freaky things he does."

"Whatever Kisame. Thanks for showing me to my room." She smiled gently, sitting up at the edge of the bed.

He shrugged again, still finding the desk the most interesting item to gaze at in the room. "It's no big deal."

Something was up, Kisame was being _funny_ but in a bad way. The kind of _funny_ that you called people who simply were not being themselves.

Sakura stood gracefully from the bed, making a point to brush her long hair with a hand, draping it over her right shoulder. She moved right to his side and tilted her head to the left, looking up at Kisame with bright emerald orbs. "Something wrong?" Her voice was smooth, as smooth as she could muster. She was going for lust, but stopped short.

He grunted and pursed his lips an inch, just twirling the piece of paper the pencil was once resting on, gazing at the words "Welcome to the Akatsuki" in bright-sigh-cherry pink letters.

The corner of Sakura's mouth raised a pinch, then she moved to grab his left arm that rested still at his side. He flowed with her movements and slightly turned towards her, finally making eye contact. Sakura moved her arms quickly around his head, gripping his blue fluff puff hair and pulled him down none too gently. Struggling on her tiptoes she could just reach his lips with her own.

In just seconds Kisame had rushed his large hands down to cup the sides of her waste, pulling her up so that her feet were no longer touching the ground by at least three inches. Sakura adjusted her arms, cradling his neck, helping her push even closer to him.

She popped her lips open and gently bit his bottom lip, causing him to grip her tighter and smile; he slipped his tongue into her mouth, feeling her little one with his own, realizing how small she really was.

He held her tight and stumbled to the bed, rolling as he fell so that she straddled him, her decent sized breasts pushing into his chest; just enough so that they looked even bigger.

Kisame gripped her rear and pulled her up with a jolt, causing their tongues twisting together in his mouth to move as well. She yelled and pulled away, sitting up on his waist, throwing a hand to cup her pinched lips. "What the fuck Kisame?" She stuck out her tongue to see it; blood oozed from a small cut on the side of her tongue, the soft flesh bright red and puckered.

He licked his teeth where the irony taste of blood settled in, "sorry" he grinned, just staring at her resting above his pelvis.

Kisame willingly let her swing her leg off of him and step off the bed, retrieving the ring from her desk and the cloak from under his back.

He pouted when she pulled the cloak on over top of the clothes she still wore from the mission the day before, "Aw done already pinky?" He mentally cursed the very obvious hard on. "Can't leave a man hanging."

She left the cloak open, proceeding to send a knowing wink at Kisame, "Don't worry fishface, I won't be going anywhere for a while, you have plenty of time to pop my cherry." with that said, she flashed to the door and down the hallway.

Eyes wide as saucers Kisame leapt up to chase after the teaser; screaming down the hallway, "Holy fuck you're a virgin?"

* * *

Sakura blasted past the training room, skidding to a stop and reversing. Tobi, who had been humming a tune to himself-annoying Kakuzu to no end- was taken by surprise when Sakura ran to him, hugging for dear life. "Tobi! Kisame's trying to rape me!" She struggled harder than ever to contain her giggles.

Tobi gasped and hugged her back, "Aaaah! No Kakuzu don't let Sakura-chan get raped!"

The minute Kisame turned into the room he tripped over Kakuzu's string which just so happened to make its way across the thresh hold. "perv."

Kisame scrambled to his feet after throwing a glare at Kakuzu and rushed for Tobi. The innocent man held up his hands and squealed as Kisame ripped Sakura away from him with one hand and held Tobi in the air with the other. Tossing Tobi away and to the ground like an empty Mcdonalds cup. He focused every ounce of himself onto Sakura.

"Sakura…" He stared at her with a mix of shock and determination, grabbing the wrists of both of her fisted hands, holding them close to his chest; drawing her very close to his own face. He knew what he wanted to say, but it was as if he had no clue how to word what it is he had wanted to convey to her. It sounded perfect seconds ago in his head; Funny. He sucked it up and the words tumbled out like a tossed salad. "Sakura…you have got to let me have it."

Her heart dropped to her stomach in a rush of embarrassment. Kisame was surprisingly, blunt and not entirely tactical. Plus, she hated salad. Before her pupils could return from dilation her ring buzzed on her middle right-hand finger. She glanced at the ring and coughed awkwardly, "Uh, looks like leader wants me."

He scowled, glaring at the ring. "That's not leader-sama calling you." She jerked in surprise.

"So wait, what? Anyone can call me on my ring? How can you tell who it is?" she gaped in aw at the tiny particular object.

Kisame huffed, annoyed that his much more important topic had gotten blown off. "Yes, it's color coded." _Ugh more colors._ "Your ring is tinted violet. Hidan's requesting you."

Sakura was, to say the least, impressed. She shrugged and ripped her wrists from Kisame's grasp, walking out casually.

"It was a request, not a demand!" he growled.

No way in hell was he letting Hidan be her first. Just, no way.

* * *

Sakura made her way to the main living spaces, making it a point to search for Hidan, but no luck. She went through the double doors behind the couch, entering the kitchen. At the kitchen table sat Itachi, Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara playing a game of, _cards_.

"Seriously? How come I just can't imagine a _murderous _group of _criminals_ playing _cards_?" She chuckled as she took a seat between Itachi and Sasori.

Sasori raised an eyebrow, "Are you implying something?"

She hated when men raised just one eyebrow. She could never fully raise just one without raising the other, ending up with a surprised look instead of a cynical one. In turn making her look stupid.

She waved him off, "of course not." she glanced up at Hidan who was sitting across from her, "So what did you want?"

"A different fucking player," he jabbed a thumb at Deidara, "'Cause this one fucking blows."

Deidara rolled his eyes and held his hands up, all three tongues wiggling wildly at Hidan.

"Fucking ew."

Sakura laughed, just sitting at the table watching the guys continue their card game.

Sasori, for what seemed like the one-hundredth time, folded.

"You know, I thought you said it was Deidara who sucked." Sakura laughed as Sasori gave her a funny face. He leaned his head down onto his right palm, his left hand trailing to Sakura's thigh.

Sasori watched her face tinge pink, but she kept her head still placed between both palms, her elbows rested on the table. She did it out of saving her embarrassment, pretending nothing was going on.

His fingers were just inches from her underwear line, moving in slow circles, teasing her thigh. It seemed as though all the heat in her body was pooling to the bottom of her stomach and seeping into her throbbing _not so private_ area.

The ticklish ministrations were driving her hormones insane, her virgin body new to this sort of treatment.

After a short five minutes of enduring an agony that felt as long as hours she mumbled an 'excuse me' and pushed herself from the table and out the double doors.

Sasori, claiming he was done losing, followed the very aroused female.

Sakura was leaning against the wall to the right, next to the double doors. Sasori, barely glancing, covered her body with his own, pushing a knee between her legs, up against her clothed crotch. He grabbed both arms by the wrists and held them in one hand above her head, pulling her into a bruising kiss.

The friction from his knee flushed her cheeks, causing her soft bud of nerves to throb like a headache. She had shared kisses with Kisame, but her body never felt this good. Kisame had been sloppy, where as Sasori was confident and precise. He had known from the beginning where he wanted to touch her, and how he wanted her to feel.

She felt, aroused. Her abdominal muscles tightening in excitement. She wanted the power building up inside her to cease, she needed release. She needed sex.

Sakura moaned and twisted an arm free, running it down Sasori's cloak, undoing the clasps. To her surprise, he wasn't even wearing a shirt. Oh how delicious he looked without a shirt. She pulled her mouth back from Sasori's and ran her butterfly soft touches over his toned chest, down to his muscled stomach. She smiled, "I don't understand why you sexy men hide behind these god forbidden cloaks."

Sasori chuckled in response and thrust his body hard against hers, causing her to slam her weight into the wall, 'thunks' echoing into the kitchen. Sakura drew one of her slender legs slowly up to his hip, allowing him to grab the underneath of the soft meat. She moaned as the hard bulge in his pants bumped into her entrance.

Sakura moaned into another kiss, gasping for air. Each kiss leaving her lungs burning. "Sasoriiii," she lulled his name, dipping her head back, basking in the sensation of his lips brushing over her pulse.

The door to the kitchen slammed, knocking the lovers back to reality with a brutally rash fist. Sakura dropped her leg to the ground as if Sasori was poison, pulling her arms back quicker than light.

The used-to-be door hung off of its top hinges, hanging awkwardly splintered from the immense blow to the solid oak. Hidan stood in all of his bastard glory glaring kunais at Sasori's vital points. "Hands off the fucking merchandise." Surprisingly he spoke steadily.

Sasori sneered at the fuck head and wrapped an arm around Sakura's waste, in the most claiming way he could. "Thought we were sharing?"

Hidan 'tch-ed', "Yeah, after I fucking claim her first. Virginity is mine _bitch_."

Sakura pushed Sasori off of her and poked a finger into Hidan's chest, "Who the hell said you got to choose who I sleep with? Hm? Fuck off Hidan."

"That's not fucking fair! At least let an experienced man be your fucking first!"

Deidara burst into a fit of laughter from the kitchen, "Oh because you're so experienced un."

Hidan gave him the birdy, "you're just fucking jealous."

"Oh, jealous, of what yeah? You're aids un?"

"Try getting in the fucking girls pants."

"I don't want to get into her pants un."

"Fucking puss is scared of puss!"

"Fine un." Deidara stood from his chair and walked over to Sakura, taking her hand and pulling her down the hallway. She didn't fight, she liked these guys, even Deidara.

Hidan whipped his head around to stare at Deidara's back, "Where the fuck are you going?"

"To my room un."

"For fucking what?" Hidan nearly screeched.

Deidara stopped, Sakura running into his back, smushing her nose. The corners of his mouth turned up into the most deadly gorgeous, incredibly confident smirk she had ever seen, Deidara trailed his hand down Sakura's stomach and gripped her soft mound of flesh between her legs, "'Gonna get some puss."

Hidan made to run after the dead blond, "Like fuck you are dickless!"

Sasori slipped his arms under Hidan's and locked his hands around the back of his head, nodding to Deidara to get away while Hidan gurgled words in his odd position.

* * *

"Get some puss? Excuse me?" Sakura followed Deidara but squealed down the hallway.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "Oh shut up, I was just saying that to Hidan to make him jealous, go back to your room now for all I care."

Sakura scowled as Deidara entered his room and slammed the door in her face. _What the fuck is his problem?_

She knocked on his door, no answer. "Deidara I know you can fucking hear me, open the door." No answer.

"Deidara! Seriously!" No answer.

She crossed her arms under her chest and huffed, damn the stupid brat to hell. She glanced down and noticed the ring, _hm_. _How do I work this stupid thing?_ She tried twisting the top of the ring, looking for a button, a trigger, anything. Nothing worked.

She growled and pounded on his door, "Urrr- Deidara!" Still no answer and she couldn't get the stupid ring to work. He still hadn't come to the door either.

_Fuck him._ She threw a chakra filled fist threw the door, turning the knob on the other side, flinging the door open enough to slam against the wall.

Besides the many sculptures of clay figures littering the room, many looking scarily like herself, the room was empty. Empty until a very naked Deidara came flying from the bathroom, with a _very _noticeable erection.

* * *

**Voila? Do review and let me know how the kinky scenes are! Please! I really need some confidence on those and reviews would do wonders ; ) Thanks! R/R**


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